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Grief is an emotion that can lodge in the body tissues and the spirit.
Although we usually think of grief as having to do with loss of a loved one
or something highly valued like a job, grief can take less recognizable
forms. Some common underlying sources of grief are mourning of one's own
lost childhood, mourning lost opportunity, mourning the loss of good health
and mourning the loss of innocence. One thing that is worth noting is that
it is possible to hold grief for something one never actually possessed, but
longed for. Long after the causative event that lodged, grief still exacts a
price.
Grief can affect those who carry it in several ways. It causes the heart to
be shut down and removed from life. This has a negative impact on
relationships. Deep internal sadness prevents healthy empathetic connection.
It also reduces the capacity to enjoy life and can result in depression. In
addition it robs motivation and well being. Many people report that its
effects, sometimes only recognized in retrospect are exhausting. Deepak
Chopra talks about how grief and asbestos can both affect the body in
similar ways at the quantum level. It is literally a heavy dense energy held
in the heart, lungs, and ribs.
Many people can feel the grief as physical sensations. The symptoms most
often associated with grief are heaviness in the chest, frequent sighing,
and feelings of deadness in the heart region. Other signs can be painful
inflexible ribs, a lump or tightness in the throat and shoulders hunched
protectively forward to protect the heart. This results in postural changes
as well. Frequent lung problems can also be traced to stored grief.
If you recognize that you are holding grief, there is much you can do. First
you can try lying down and gently relaxing. Then focus on the physical
region of the chest. Notice how the heart feels. Is it heavy or light? Does
it feel intact? Is part of it sagging or feeling thick and tired? Notice as
you tune in what feelings and issues surface. Pay attention to any memories
that come up for you. Notice themes that might unify emerging information.
Ask your inner being to help in this process.
This process will often stimulate emotion to start moving. People often get
stuck in grief because they feel they have already cried enough. Yet
sometimes deep grief is expressed in wracking sobs that originate in the
solar plexus region. It's as if the deepest expression of it allows for
release, and milder expressions may actual keep emotion stuck and recycling.
The deeper releases come more easily when breath is involved. Breathing
deeply in and out without a pause between the in and the out will often
flush the feelings.
There are several aids to this process that can be employed. The first is to
simply put a small, hard pillow between the shoulder blades and feel the
pressure gently opening the chest from behind as you lie on the floor.
Another aid is flower essences, a vibrational remedy. Grief Relief Blend, a
carefully blended grief formula that is one of our Acorn Solutions, can be taken over
a period of time which is ideal, or only when working with the feelings.
This releases the congested emotional energy that really comprises the
block.
Music can be of powerful assistance in releasing grief. Piano, harp, violin,
and cello all stimulate the heart. Many people find the album Somewhere in
Time to be perfect. Also effective is anything by Ray Lynch, particularly No
Blue Thing and Deep Breakfast. If you know a certain piece affects you by
bringing up tears, you can tape it a number of times in a row and use that.
With music the rule of thumb is whatever moves you.
Many people who carry great grief can benefit from Somatics exercises for
breathing. The ribs tend to function as a unit when the body is held in ways
that reduce awareness of grief. Yet, in reality the bottom ribs are supposed
to move independently in order to accommodate internal organs when crunching
and twisting. Additional benefits from the Somatics exercises include
calmness and feelings of well being. The CD entitled Somatics - Calm and
Energize will open things up in the chest.
If themes or memories do come up, it's best to adopt the attitude that what
comes up is relevant to your life as well as your grief. Themes often tell
us where we are stuck. If for example a theme is feeling abused by others,
consider what might change that pattern. It might be recognizing that others
are reflecting your own disregard for self or it might mean you need to take
better care of yourself when it comes to setting boundaries. Sometimes self
forgiveness is what is called for, this is particularly common around death
and loss. Guilt about unfinished business can easily result in grief. If you
can learn the lesson you will be less likely to repeat the same pattern, the
grief will be less likely to lodge and negatively impact you again.
A final note is that in our culture tissues have become a subtle cue that
shuts down the process of weeping. It's best not to resort to tissues until
the release is well under way.
If flower essences, Acorn Solutions, are used for a period of time they may
cause teariness to spontaneous erupt throughout your day and week. It is
best not to try to stop the process. One way to assist the process is to
avoid suppressing sound. Another is to notice how you tighten the throat and
eyes in order to suppress emotional expression of grief. This can be
reversed by softening the tense parts and allowing gasps, strangled sounds
or whatever needs to move. The deepest kinds of grief have a wracking
quality and are accompanied by a wailing sound. Whenever releasing, it pays
to breathe, allow, express and let go.
A powerful release of grief can change your whole view point. You might feel
lighter, freer, more optimistic and loving. That is because the heart freed
from constriction can energetically open again. That kind of opening is
characterized by feelings of well being, connectedness and wholeness. All of
the tools mentioned in this piece are available at
www.LightSeed.com. May you find your
own grief relief!
Bobbi Gay is trained in more than half a dozen alternative methods of
healing and personal growth. For twelve years she has been coaching and
working intimately with people who are letting go of stuck emotion. She is
the author of this web site dedicated to helping people to empower
themselves and heal. All of the tools mentioned above and many more are
available at the Self Empowerment Center at
www.LightSeed.com.
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There is an
energy in us which makes things happen when the paths of other persons touch
ours.
from the Monks of Weston Priory
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