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Have you ever had a secret that you finally decided to share with someone
close to you, and then realize that they too had the very same secret??? Or
think that you are the only person on earth to be living with the problem or
situation that is consuming most of your waking hours, and that for some
unknown reason, you learn that your best friend has lived through the very
thing!
I remember talking with my mother when my daughter, Jenna, was three years
old. I said to her, “Mom, you know my life isn’t all that different from any
other mother’s – Jenna is a great kid; she makes us laugh, smile, and jump
through hoops!” My mom said, “Honey, most mothers do not take their children
to speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and have an IFSP
and IEP, and meetings with the SCHOOL STAFF before their child reaches the
age of FIVE!” Then she proceeded to tell me what wonderful parents we were
and that Jenna was very lucky to have us both. But, she continued, you DO
have a special life, and it IS different, and NOT everyone could or would be
able to do what you do. Even with my Mom’s perspective on my life, I really
have not considered my life with Jenna as particularly special or different.
I do know that I have experienced a lot of things that another mother may
not experience, BUT WHAT MOTHER CAN’T SAY THAT!
A few years ago, I had on of those “AH HA” moments, in which I understood my
mother’s words to me, and at the same time, I was able to share something
with another mother, that made her life for the next five months a lot
easier!
After picking Jenna up at camp, we began our drive home. We were on the
interstate and it was probably the hottest day of the year. The traffic was
bumper to bumper and I was in the far left lane. Just where I could read the
sign up ahead, “Next exit in one mile”, my car lost all power and I was able to
roll it onto the breakdown lane. Not a great place to get out and walk with
your young child! I then began to wait for one of the nice yellow “First
Response” cars that you see all over the interstate, except on the hottest
day of the summer in bumper to bumper traffic!
Twenty minutes later it was still hot, and we were still in the car. I wrote
a message on some paper that I had in the car, that read, “Please call my
husband at: …..” and placed it on the window so a driver could read it as he
“stopped” next to my car. A nice man said he would call him. A few minutes
later, a woman pulled off the interstate in front of my car. She got out and
started walking toward me. She asked if she could help us. She had not seen
Jenna when she pulled over, because Jenna was asleep in the back of the car.
I told her someone was calling my husband, and thanked her. She felt it was
too hot for us to stay where we were, and offered to drive us home.
She was of course right, it was way too hot to stay there too much longer,
so I took her up on her offer. I was still hesitant to get into her car (a
stranger) with my daughter, but by then Jenna was awake and told me she was
very hot and thirsty.
When we got in the car, we started talking. The woman said, “You are a
blessing.” I got a little uncomfortable. She then told me it was beautiful
to see me with my daughter, and that “God was special.” The uncomfortable
feeling I had grew stronger. I can’t remember how many times I told Jenna
“DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS.” “DO NOT GET IN THEIR CARS!” I decided I better
keep the woman talking.
I asked her if she had any children (hoping she did not want to abduct
mine!). She said she had two children and was pregnant with her third. She
then told me, “It was a blessing to meet you today. God was telling me to
pull over.” I was afraid to ask why. Then it came, I could hear her voice
crack and see tears come down the side of her face. She said, “It is
beautiful to see the love between you and your
daughter. It was so clear the minute I saw her look at you.” I asked her if
she knew if she was having a boy or a girl. “They think my baby is going to
have Down syndrome.” She did not think she could handle it, and her husband
had left her. “Now” she said, “I know I can handle it. You are a blessing.”
Then I finally understood what my mother was telling me, and maybe what I
really did know inside. Just sharing my story, my relationship with my
daughter with this stranger, made the unknown less frightening.
Post script: The next five months of the woman’s pregnancy were a lot easier
for her. She had a boy – he did not have Down syndrome!
Author - Denise Quigley
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There is an
energy in us which makes things happen when the paths of other persons touch
ours.
from the Monks of Weston Priory
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